Life is long but it is incredibly short as well.
As I approach my birthday this year, I’m left thinking about how I never imagined I’d reach this age and be where I am in life now currently.
There have been so many things that have happened in the last year, and in the vein of being a life architect and someone who is intentional about the kind of life I want, and the type of person I want to be, here are my reflections –
#1 There’s a limit to being overly nurturing, giving and constantly taking on other people’s work as yours
This is what is known as boundaries. But is something I really struggle with. There is a tendency to help, to immediately answer when someone asks me a question at work – basically all about making their lives faster and easier and mine worst. At work I have different people asking me questions all the time, to the point where I didn’t have the time for my own stuff. This will be changing in 2026.
#2 Uplevelling my life from the outside-in, clothing, beauty products etc, aesthetics.
I used to be a firm believer that nothing you wore – not your clothes, bags, or your looks – makeup, hair etc would matter if you had the personality and the inner shine and confidence. While I still believe that is true, I do now also think that confidence can go the other way. The accessories you wear, the clothes you go out in, the bags you carry – do you feel comfortable in them? Or are you constantly tugging at the material etc. What type of makeup and hairstyles suit you best (ladies)? Also, a big lesson – not every single piece of fashion advice is gonna suit you and where you live.
#3 Do not wait until s*it hits the fan for you to do something
People tend to do this in toxic workplaces, they either endure, blame themselves, tell themselves everywhere is the same (it is not) and they should stay. What are you gaining by staying? What are you losing by staying? More freedom and a better workplace for your mental health. But people tend to wait until the 11th hour to decide to exit and then regret waiting for too long. This goes the same for everything else in life – the best time to make changes was yesterday, the second best time is now.
#4 Long holidays are necessary for a proper mental break from life
I didn’t fully feel refreshed from short trips – though helpful and the refreshing feeling faded after some time. But when went on my first long trip in years in Fall of 2025, I came back feeling like a different person for a long time afterward.
#5 Many people are carrying unresolved trauma
Which can surface in your friendships, make workplaces toxic etc. You don’t have to forgive them or be empathetic or anything if that feels like overstepping your boundaries, but a level of understanding and acceptance is best. Not for them, but more for your own sanity.
#6 People and relationships may not be what it seems
Some dynamics may look good or feel good on the surface but a recent trip with a group of people I know made it clear that everyone was hiding their true selves and filtering them too much. Trips and long extended time tend to make each other closer or make you well, hate each other LOL. But this one did neither. Various incidents over the year made me realise you can’t really take people at face value, it takes time to get to know someone and in settings where people have specific intentions (workplaces for eg), you may not be seeing someone’s true side.
#7 “Friends” who cut you off for no reason have their own unresolved stuff
Which is for them to work through. Some of them may be aware of the issue, but so filled with ego and pride that they can’t admit it (this is why self-awareness alone is rarely enough to shift the needle on behaviours). Others just aren’t that tuned into that side of them. For the sake of my own mental health and peace of mind, I’ve distanced myself from such individuals once I see the red flags, and yes, there ALWAYS are red flags with them. Not everyone is a true friend.
#8 Travelling to new parts of the world and really loving it
I lost my travel planner mojo when covid hit and haven’t really travelled very much on long hauls in recent years. Towards the end of the year, I visited parts of Sichuan province in China and loved it sooo much I think I left a piece of my soul there. I certainly will be back but that trip has ignited a whole new spark of travel excitement within me, in 2026 I will see more of the world.
#9 Taking a huge step to focusing on my health
I decided I wanted to eat better, sleep better, exercise better. And while, I am still figuring out lots of things for myself in this area, the journey has been nothing short of amazing as I’ve learnt so much about myself and also about just health in general. For eg, it’s best for me to eat between 7-9am, and to avoid certain types of teas which are too “cool’ for my bodily constitution. Also, it’s been hard to say goodbye to sugar.
#10 Stop trying to force social interactions or be “on” all the time socially or “go along” with the group to avoid offending people
The trip to sichuan was with a group of people, and towards the end of the trip, I was just really tired of the constant interactions and wanted to be alone. I took off on mini solitary walks and shopping and cafe reading, people watching throughout parts of the city and it was AWESOME. Some of the most memorable days from that trip was those couple of days alone. I was super unapologetic about it as well and could care less if I offended others who felt everyone needed to be together. Separately back home, I’d feel anxious sometimes with new people and tended to want to talk alot to build rapport etc. Instead, when I came back from the trip, I adopted a more polite but cautious stance in group situations, didn’t rush to build rapport (this can trip me up and make me think people are friendlier than they are), added to the chat whenever I could and just keeping very silent otherwise. This observant but more passive stance actually made me less exhausted after group outings.
#11 Learning more about myself and my energy
Some of you would know that I’m into bazi – an ancient chinese metaphysical framework for reading someone’s life path and everything else that happens to them. As I was studying this, offering clients bazi readings etc, I got to know more about myself – my energy constitution, my love for solitude, the types of people I was drawn to, it all started to make sense. And is the single piece of learning that launched so many things for me in the year.
#12 Realising how exercise is not all about high intensity exercises and breaking a sweat in the gym
Traditional advice on losing weight and keeping in shape would have you in the gym doing pupnishing sets. Again, this does not suit everyone’s energetic archetype/blueprint (see #11). I was relieved to hear that gyms weren’t great for me, but walking in nature/near water, doing strength training (at home, which I love), dancing and stretches – lots of it. Yoga, bedtime stretching, breathing exercises, qigong – all the lighter forms of working out.
#13 Learning how to unwind before bedtime and how different times of the day can affect my energy
I’m trying my utmost best to go to sleep by 11pm – liver meridien works best from 11pm to 3am (a TCM finding). It’s been up and down for me as I cant seem to wind down quickly before bed. So here comes the stretching and the yin yoga for bed and reading – just no phones and no computers past 10pm. Something I’m determined to change. Waking at 630am also surprisingly, does not make me feel sleepy or tired – if I’ve gone to bed earlier the previous night.
#14 Indulging in different types of snacks that make me happy
On my recent travels, I’ve been indulging in little snacks and tidbits that I usually wouldn’t and I have been enjoying them immensely and will add them to my “snack collection”. Theres matcha cookies and rice crisps. It runs counter to my bid to be healthier, but I don’t snack frequently and just the knowledge that I can bite into a matcha cookie once in awhile makes me really happy somehow. Also, it’s been really hard to kick milk tea off my list.
#15 Having loads of fun with cooking
I consider cooking to be a lifeskill, a very practical one. Throw me in any country now I probably could take the ingredients and do up something that tastes good (stews are always the easiest). Seasoning with salt, pepper, herbs, etc and that’s a good meal. It’s still a work in progress but I can now confidently cook for my family and have also been prepping a lot of my lunches – a way healthy choice of living.
#16 Balancing housework and mundane chores with intellectual work
While I’ve always hated doing household chores and found them to be a waste of time, in recent years my perspective on this has shifted. First, I want my house and surroundings to be tidy, and spending a little time each day to do so, makes things feel right and makes me feel accomplished too lol. Decluttering has been a big thing in 2025 and this will continue in 2026. Taking time out to do the dishes or clean a tiny spot in my kitchen or clear out my wardrobe makes my space feel so much brighter, but these “chores” have also offered much needed respite from my constant working at the laptop and thinking. Killing 2 birds at once – my house is tidier and I have a much needed mental break.
#17 Finally organising my finances
With the help of chatgpt (Gen AI ftw for these things), I got down to really organising my expenses and planning for 2026. I keep track of every single thing I spend. Not cause I am neurotic but because these serve as data points for me. At the end of the year or on a quarterly or monthly basis, I then review the buckets I have been spending money on and rejig things. Immensely helpful as I have been feeling uneasy for some time not knowing where exactly my money was going to.
#18 Letting people learn their lessons/mistakes without you stepping in
Now this was an incredibly difficult one and I had to learn how to stop myself from doing too much when a close family member got scammed. I was calling the banks and advising them on what to do – to no avail, they refused to listen. And well, a good 10-20K is now gone. My intuition was loud and strong though on it being a shady scam and I really tried my best to stop it. But alas. I spent sleepless nights worrying about this and having this weigh ton me and in the end I decided to just let go. A lesson learnt for them, and also a huge one for me – to stop overstepping my boundaries and let people learn their life lessons no matter how hard it is for me to sit and watch it happen.
#19 Honing my intuition
The scam situation really sharpened my intuition and made me really discern how to differentiate my inner voice from the fear that kept bubbling up. I’m someone who always needs financial security, so to see someone so close play with their own financial security – that may affect me – bothered me so much. Over the year, my intuition has led me to making decisions that I ended up aligning so much with. It’s a skill I want to keep honing.
#20 Embodying energy archetypes of people I admire
As part of my intentional glow up (see point #2) and my uplevelling in aesthetics, I didn’t want to do it any old how. Yall know how much I love my guides and frameworks, so tapping on my newly honed intuition, I asked myself – whose energy do I admire and would like to embody? What kind of aura/vibe do I want to give off? (This relates to point #2) as well, when I identified a few people, I went searching for and studying their style, their public appearances and the energy they tended to give off, and took a few pointers on emulating it. Very helpful.
#21 Realising the spiritual path I’ve been on hasn’t quite been working out.
For some time already, I haven’t quite felt that the spiritual path I was on was working. While I have been following this path for awhile now, the rituals, the cycles made it feel like a chore to me instead of something I really wanted to do or something I resonated with. I don’t want my spiritual path to be a reluctant one so I’ve intentionally taken a step back in some ways. I do believe there are seasons for everything but the current ways haven’t resonated for awhile now, and I may be back on it someday, but it has to take a pause for now.
#22 Having a good cry over alot of stuff from the past being dragged up
2025 was a strange year for me personally, and probably for you as well. It was like a worldwide thing to have had really gone through the wire that year. I had a whole list of “bad” things happening which started as early as early January. Anyhows. Oddly, my mind kept going back to my childhood and to a specific time in my late teen years. The things I’d do then, the person I was (and have become), the regrets. And each time something came up, I’d tear. I still have no idea why they came up so randomly and suddenly, but something was telling me it was nostalgia for a “lost” younger self and how I’ve redeemed myself now as an adult, and coming full circle with so many things in life. It was a pretty emotional experience.
#23 Loving to write again
In 2025 I have to admit I didn’t write as many books as I was planning to, though I did lots of lovely newsletters. I just wasn’t quite feeling it when it came to reading and writing, I didn’t feel motivated. But towards the end of the year, I picked up writing on my blog again and I have to say I really enjoy it. I could write in a way that was just solely me and not for a specific intention – like for newsletter subscribers to read or for content marketing. It was fun and so relaxing.
#24 More structure, less intentional flow
After finding out more about my energetic map, I realise that I’ve been living too long in a “go with the flow” state and it wasn’t doing me much good. I wasn’t getting what I wanted, done. I needed structure and I needed to discipline myself to stick to that structure. I also need to be mindful about branching out into too many things at once (tough for me as I have 1000 thoughts and ideas each day and getting to do all of them takes time). At the same time, I needed to ask myself about the intentions I did something – unintentional socialising and generic mixers were not working for me, and in 2026 I will approaching my social life with a little more structure and intention.
#25 I journalled more, spent less time on my “to-done” list + back to BUJO
Also, I was journalling way more than I wanted to and what didn’t quite work was – noting down my to-dos, to-dones and my KPIs – I hardly opened my book to note those down. BUT what is exciting for me is that I’m doing a proper BUJO technique for the first time, and it relates to my need to set up the structure for my day and well, essentially my life goals. It’s been working really well and I feel really organised and productive.
#26 Seeing my business differently
2025 was a year of transformation for my business, from literally hermit-ing to emerging with new exciting business plans. Consistency is something I still struggle with but I think I’ve figured something out for myself so do watch this space. Also, time to stop seeing my business as the side one but really, the main business, my crown jewel. And the day job as the bridge role – just earning some cash to fund the crown jewel.
#27 Learning to love youreslf, your company and learning to rely on your own
Ultimately, and ironically, one of the biggest lessons in 2025 is that because of how life is sometimes, the only person that really has got your back is you and only you. Friends can come and go, lovers can become distant over time, family relations can change, your feelings towards things and people may change too. But the only person who is there with you the entire way is your own self. I’m not talking about hyper-independence to the point you just don’t want or need anyone, cause I actually don’t think that’s healthy. But having your own back, supporting you, loving you and knowing that you are amazing and that you can trust yourself to see you through many things in life.
I realised this on my short trip recently, how far along in life I’ve come to really loving myself and enjoying my own company – that I was never bored. I always had things to do alone in my room, or cafes I wanted to explore on my own, activities that I truly enjoyed by myself. Yes, I hung out and socialised whenever I felt like it, but when I was alone, I never felt lonely. And being able to do so is very, very powerful.
It makes you pretty unshakeable in the face of adversity, you know what it is you want and you unapologetically and decisively live a life that you want. Many people in society cannot be by themselves or need people to tell them what to do because they do not have a strong sense of self. They need company, validation, attention and others to set the example.
But if you learn to be a sovereign self, nobody’s opinions, judgments or feelings about you or your life would matter. You know they are inconsequential and you know it’s just water off a duck’s back for you.
A life skill that will truly never let you down, ever. If anything, learn to love yourself more this year – you are uniquely awesome 😊