“Gosh, you have majorly let yourself go, you used to look so slim and pretty, whatever happened?!”
Do you think that was a normal comment or a put-down?
If you went with put-down, you are right! And if you were confused, that’s normal too.
Lots of put-downs sound very innocuous at first, but are actually disguised insults.
In this post, we explore what putdowns are and how to deal with them in a confident, assertive manner.
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For as long as I could remember, right up til my mid-20s, I always struggled with low self-esteem and a poor self-image.
I carried around feelings of low self-worth and inadequacy and spent a crap-ton of time feeling like I could never achieve what I wanted to.
I realised that – low self-esteem is not simply a feeling, it’s a culmination of patterns, behaviours, beliefs, expectations, habits and so much more.
So let’s dive into some of the common signs of low self-esteem, combining my own experiences with research.
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Just why do so many adults walk around with low self-esteem? It’s a question I’ve asked myself for a very long time.
Just take a look at babies, or small kids. You never hear them go like, gosh my legs are so fat, I can’t be seen outside. This stroller is hideous! I don’t wanna go around in it.
But then slowly as you get older, you start to absorb the things you see and hear in your environment. From your parents, relatives, teachers, playmates at school, TV ads, magazines, the list goes on.
And these days, things are made worse with social media. With our access to so much of information – good and bad – it can be so easy to internalise these messages and it can all do a number on our self-esteem.
In this post, we will examine some of the factors that might have contributed to you having a dent in your self-esteem. Let’s go!
(more…)In our eagerness to fall in love and find our happily ever after, many of us tend to play up certain aspects of meeting someone and assume that all that is love.
Then when things go awry down the road, we tell ourselves, “Love is blind”.
Is it really?
Or is it all down to us attributing the wrong things to love?
In this post, I write about the 12 signs that it isn’t love.
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I constantly get emails and comments from readers who want to know why their dates or relationships tend to be short-lived and don’t work out for them.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, dating is fun, but if you do not have your wits about you, engage in unhealthy habits or do not have healthy boundaries, it can result in you falling into a tangled web of hurt, lies and pain.
In this post, I talk about 8 key habits that you may not know you have and may have been the very things standing in the way of your dating success. (more…)
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It’s March! It’s officially Spring and yes, this is the first official month of the year as far as I’m concerned 😀
What a great way to say GOODBYE to the year gone by, by drawing up a list of things that I am going to say NO to this year.
Growth means there’s constant change and in this post, I’ll list ?? things/habits/actions/beliefs that I don’t aim to bring into the New Year.
Let’s kick this off.
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As I turned 30 recently, I look back on my 20s and dedicate some words of advice to my 20 year-old self.
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What started out as a social experiment turned into wonderful life lessons for me. (more…)
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In part 1, I talked about why people, specifically long-time friends cut you off for no reason.
In part 2, I talk about the possible red flags in the friendship you might have missed, based on my painful experience when a friend of 17 years cut me off, and how you can deal with such an upsetting situation. (more…)
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Have you had a long-time friend cut you out of their lives totally for no reason at all?
If you have had that unfortunate experience, you will know how painful it really is.
You’d never know what really happened. Your friendship was here today, gone tomorrow.
I had one. We knew each other from when we were 7. Had rows (like all normal friends do). But she saw it necessary to not only cut me off totally but chose not to invite me to her wedding. Other friends who weren’t as close were invited though.
So the friendship ended, just like that, at 24.
When something like that happens, it always leaves you wondering why it happened and how could you not have seen it coming.
In this post, I touch on why people who do the cutting off do this. And why (more…)
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