This post is really about some of the questions I’ve received from readers and some observations I’ve made in my client sessions too. It’s a bit of a #truthbomb sorta post but I think alot of it has to be said.

#Truthbomb #1 You don’t want to let go

Many limerents – not all, but alot of you – just do not seem to want to let go of your fantasies, of the way you are living and your limerent objects (LO). Many of the limerent individuals I’ve come across just seem to want to wallow in the situation that you are in now and don’t feel motivated to want to do anything about it

I’ve already mentioned before that to properly heal from limerence, you gotta get some perspective and self-awareness on the situation that you are actually in and you gotta want to let go. When you decide to let go, your mind will naturally start creating diversions and seek out ways to help you let go.

But if you are still hanging on, constantly in this situation, living in a loop, you will never be able to get out of it, and you will probably not experience the type of life that you want.

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#Truthbomb 2: Excuses for your own behaviour + Lack of honesty to yourself

Something else I’m seeing is that many limerent people I’ve met, have a HUGE tendency to make excuses for your own limerent behaviour.

Oh, I only think about my LO once a day, so it’s okay… Oh I am not talking to him anymore (but I’m still thinking about him), so it’s not that bad.

I recently had someone tell me that she wasn’t ruminating about her LO, but she was worried about what he thought of her…..

…….

How is that any different from ruminating about your LO? No matter what, as long as the focus of your thoughts and content of your worries are centred around your LO, you are still ruminating about him and still limerent.

When we keep trying to make excuses or find justifications or reasons for our actions, it’s a sign that you kinda know deep-down that all is not too well, which is why your mind experiences cognitive dissonance and you start grasping at reasons and justifications to convince yourself of your behaviour.

It’s time to get honest with yourself and your intentions. If you intend to let this person go and intend to REALLY CURE from limerence, it’s absolutely necessary to stop resorting to excuses and own up to your behaviour.

#Truthbomb 3: Making alot of excuses for your LO

You probably already knew this, but the thing about many people who are experiencing limerence for another is the frequency at which they gas up their LOs and find excuses for their LO’s bad behaviours. Yes, the excusing and justifying of some of the rude, downright disrespectful behaviour from your LOs, and pedastalising them…it has to stop.

Our LOs are all human. Yes, flawed human beings. They have bad habits, have bad thoughts and some of them aren’t as nice people as you think they are. I’ve had LOs over the years lead me on knowing that I was into them – but they weren’t – and then they would end up with someone else.

So yup, not nice people. Your LO may be a nice dude, but he’s still human, not a saint or God or some special being beamed down from the heavens. He’s really not that special. A lot of the time, it’s precisely because you are not in a relationship with them/in love with them is why you are obsessed with them.

Obsession isn’t love and vice versa. Love involves alot of selflessness, mutual care, respect and affection and so many other ingredients that obsessiveness doesn’t give you.

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#Truthbomb 4: Your fantasy won’t turn into reality

This is sorta related to Truthbomb #1 in that sometimes it’s harder for people to let go because you keep convincing yourself that somehow, someday, your fantasy is gonna turn into reality. The thing is 99.99999% – which is really 100% of the time – it doesn’t.

This is because like I explained in my book, which you can grab below – your limerence is one-sided. Many times the person either doesn’t feel the same way or doesn’t even know you exist. He/she is not going to magically just fall in love with you because of a single glance or whatever.

Many fantasies remain that – fantasy. And that’s what limerence is mostly about.

#Truthbomb 5: You really need to do some work on your Self

Yes, yes. Limerence actually means there’s alot going on within that you may need to work through or resolve. Lots of attachment patterns, emotional stuff and childhood patterns that you’d have to revisit. Alot of the work will feel like you are being ripped raw and it will feel painful, but it is absolutely if you are looking to cure and to attract the right type of healthy, loving relationships that you fantasise about into your lives.

Because, and I’m going to be real blunt here, many of ya’ll limerents, you guys don’t love yourselves enough, nor do you have a healthy view or evaluation of yourselves. You probably don’t think very much about yourself and that you don’t deserve the best. Because if you did, you wouldn’t really be falling for people who don’t love you back, who rejected you or didn’t know you existed.

Often, our attraction patterns can tell us alot about what we are yearning for in a relationship and where we need more work in our own emotional and personal journeys.

You deserve way more than being stuck in a limerence cycle with your LO, constantly pining after that and not allowing yourself to heal from your wounds, trauma and patterns and experience a real love/relationship for yourself.

So question for you today – are you ready to let go and what would it take for you to start doing so?

Ready to break free from limerence and create the love life you deserve? My personalized coaching is designed to empower you on your journey to lasting happiness and fulfilling relationships. DM me on Instagram to take the first step!