Recently having read a book on anxiety, Need to Know For Sure, I was reflecting on my experiences whilst growing up. I had always been a pretty anxious child. I grew up feeling like I didn’t really belong as I constantly was reprimanded for “misbehaving”. Which actually meant behaving like a child would – I was always up to alot of mischief, very playful and wasn’t great at taking instructions.

I was good at my studies but couldn’t really focus in class and was rather day-dreamy and my grades matched that. I always felt like I was hovering on the outside of the rat-race, sorta knowing that I needed to participate in it to “survive” in this world but at the same time, being completely disinterested and indifferent to it.  

Overtime, with the constant pressure of not matching up to my peers with regards to grades, I started feeling like I was not good enough for society. I started to grapple with low self-worth and had severe cases of procrastination in my teens. I also became withdrawn and anxious around people and in new situations, and would spend alot of time hiding away my true personality, for fear of looking and sounding stupid and of not fitting in. 

I also lost my passion for art and creativity – I’ve always loved writing, painting and reading – as I grew more self-critical in my adult years. I also ignored it for more “serious” subjects as those guaranteed greater career success. 

Constantly feeling like I couldn’t be myself or pursue what I wanted made me a very anxious person as I was always filtering my experiences through the lens of society and worrying that I could not fit in. 

Did you grow up feeling anxious all the time?

Were you taught to self-filter or behave in ways that guaranteed success or a specific outcome? 

Are you still hiding away your true self or find yourself hesitating around new people and situations, unable to reveal who you really are? 

While I’ve come a long way from where I used to be, here are two things I did that healed my anxieties:

#1 Asking yourself what is causing your anxiety and checking for the truth behind it

Write down all the beliefs and fears that you have about yourself and go through each one, questioning the truth and asking yourself where it came from. IT usually came from a particular experience in childhood that you’ve not given yourself the chance to update it. 

#2 Doing exactly what I love

This was the most effective method of reconnecting with myself. It also reminds me of what I’m good at and instills greater confidence in myself. I’ve always loved writing and starting to get more serious about my fiction writing made me feel like  I was aligning with my higher self. 

Thoughts? How did you learn to overcome your own anxiety?