We live in an age of curated intimacy.
Where a K-pop idol looks into the camera and calls you “baby.”
Where a K-drama kiss scene makes your heart flutter more than real-life love ever has.
Where a C-drama character whispers the words you’ve always wanted to hear—and your body believes it’s meant for you.
And somewhere along the way, the line between reality and fantasy quietly dissolves.
This is the seduction of parasocial relationships—
emotional entanglements with people you’ve never met, but feel deeply connected to.
They don’t know you exist. But to you, they feel safe. Familiar. Real.
Why Do Parasocial Bonds Feel So Deep?
Because they touch something real in you:
- The ache for love that doesn’t reject you
- The dream of a relationship where you don’t need to perform to be adored
- The longing to be truly seen
These relationships aren’t inherently bad.
But they become dangerous when you use them to replace real connection, or worse—when they distort your sense of what love should feel like.
Is your interest in a celeb limerence or normal? Find out in the quiz below!
Many people caught in these spirals are healing from emotional neglect, rejection, or chronic loneliness.
Fantasy becomes refuge.
The celebrity becomes a projection of what you wish someone would finally give you.
But let’s be honest:
You’re not in love with them.
You’re in love with who you become when you imagine yourself beside them.
Safe. Loved. Desired.
The Industry Knows This
Entertainment capitalizes on your nervous system.
The idol’s eye contact, the drip-feed of behind-the-scenes moments, the curated vulnerability—all designed to make you feel close.
It’s not by accident.
It’s by design.
And if you don’t catch it, you’ll spend years chasing a ghost.
Someone who isn’t actually available.
Who cannot return your love.
Who never really existed in the way you believed.
Tons of “scandals” of actors and actresses who seemed a certain way on screen but are up to other stuff outside, should clue you into how false alot of these on-screen personas are, how scripted they can be.
How to Break the Spell
1. Get honest about what you’re escaping.
Who would you need to become if you stopped watching them and started focusing on your life?
What fear would you be forced to face? What would you be forced to do?
Obsessing and constantly thinking about someone you can’t have indicates that you are actually escaping from the present, from reality. You have hopes, dreams and things you’d love to manifest, goals to achieve. How would you like to get from where you are now to where you want to be?
Hint: Not by obsessing over celebs and idols
2. Let the fantasy speak. Then bless and release it.
Write a letter to the person (or character). Say what you need to say. Cry. Rage.
Then lovingly set the letter aside.
You don’t need to destroy it. Just… no longer feed it.
If this feels raw, know this:
You’re not crazy. You’re human.
But you deserve a love that touches you back. That kisses your real skin, not just your screen.
📘 My book “Breaking Up With Limerence” guides you through releasing parasocial obsession, healing unmet emotional needs, and grounding back into your worth.
Click through to get your copy or get in touch at my Instagram if you are looking for private coaching sessions. Join my newsletter for more tips for how to break out of this obsessive haze too 🙂
