When you are limerent or experiencing limerence, you probably know how it all feels and what is going on. There are certain patterns that you’d keep seeing repeat itself over and over:

• An obsession with and constant intrusive thoughts about a crush, celeb or someone you desire romantically
• Falling for unavailable people – physically, emotionally. It’s the unavailability that makes you interested in the person
• Having a fantasy relationship with said person or crush, all one-sided and all existing only in your head
• Feelings of anxiety, emotional up and downs (dependent on how your limerent object treats you), low feelings, pining/longing which makes you feel sad, miserable and even worse about yourself

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The Problem with being Limerent for a long time

Limerent individuals can find it incredibly difficult to let go of their fantasies and move on because the fantasies FEEL GOOD. Oh yes, been there done that. Those are hard to let go of.

But if you remain in these fantasies – which have little basis or grounding in reality – and prolong them, the longer you remain in pain and the further you get from what you truly want – reciprocal love and affection.

The longer you remain in fantasy, the more you feed your brain’s need for even more fantasy – to keep up the dopamine high. This is a vicious cycle, where the longer you stay, the deeper you get entangled in this dopamine addiction.

Yes, it is an addiction. And a vicious cycle.

It will keep you avoidant, emotionally unavailable, depressed, anxious, lonely, empty and all those feelings you do not like but is associated with limerence.

So how do you kick this cycle?

Enter self-awareness and the Sacred Self7

Most limerents know that they are limerent and a number know what they need to do to break the cycle. But just find themselves unable to and constantly feeling pulled back into the cycle.

And from my own experience, what will really break the cycle is taking back your power, returning to yourself, getting self-aware.

Below you will see my Re.Live Model for healing from limerence.

The first step starts from diagnosing where you are in your limerent journey. What are your habits and triggers? What were the factors that made you limerent in the first place? How was your childhood like? We explore your entire journey from childhood to present adulthood and trace all the contributing factors from your past til now.

Understanding all of that will enable you to better heal from limerence.

The second step? Going within and strengthening your insides. Taking back your power, building your self-esteem, self-love, trust in yourself.. getting aware of YOU. Your habits, your emotions, your triggers, needs, wants, values.

When you’ve reached a level where you just know what you want, you know how you are feeling, what works for you, what doesn’t, what makes you feel good (and I don’t mean the dopamine-high type of addictive/obsessive activities that fill a void of emptiness, but genuine soul-fed goodness) and what doesn’t… you will just know what to avoid.

And the thing is – having one-sided obsessive crushes and fantasy relationships with celebs and colleagues/friends/strangers etc won’t feel good anymore because your soul knows this isn’t soul-enriching at all. Not one bit.

The third step is you stepping into the dating world (if you wish) and learning the 5 stages of how to vet a date properly and how to build a relationship oyu desire. How to assess if you guys are a good fit, who they are, their values and so on.

I talk about all this in this post. But if you are currently knee-deep in limerence and longing to heal, it’s best we focus on healing that and your Self first.

How would it help cure your limerence?

Self-awareness: If you know why you are limerent and the contributing factors to your feelings, then that is the very first step to healing.

Self-trust and self-acceptance: You accept that you are limerent and you start to explore and go deeper – why is it that I am limerent and what can possibly help. You start to build up a sense of dependence and trust in yourself.

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Self-esteem and self-confidence: You start to build up a sense of worth and esteem which in turn gives you confidence to navigate life. When you’ve learnt to trust yourself (in the previous stage), you are able to better tune into your intuition and your nudges, your thoughts, your inner voice, that will guide you along in life.

Self-love and self-compassion: When you look back at your self, the mistakes you’ve made, the progress and journey that you’ve gone through in life, the struggles and obstacles, you will start to feel compassion for you, you will start to forgive yourself and love and cherish yourself more.

By now, you will start to take an emotionally objective view of your limerence journey.

Self-belief: Belief is a build up on confidence. It’s knowing that you can get better. And that you can do better. It’s knowing that you can get over the challenges in life and in limerence.

Self-exploration and self-discovery: Getting to know yourself better, figuring out your values, identity, your needs, wants, likes/dislikes, your drives.

Sometimes this stage comes a little earlier for some people – it did for me. When you start to really get deeper into this stage, you will find the limerence stuff just fading away. Because that’s when life opens up to you.

You realise how much of YOU, how much of life you’ve been missing out on. How much limerence is keeping you away from truly living life and experiencing the world.

Self-worth: A very key and criticall part of connecting with yourself. Do you think you WORTHY of money, of love, the job that you want, the relationships you desire, the friendships?

Because if deep down you feel inadequate or that you are not “worth” something or someone, you will never be able to pursue whatever or whoever it is that you desire.

Self-mastery and self-actualisation: This is the PINNACLE of connecting with yourself and most of us may not reach this stage. It’s absolutely knowing who you are and your place in this world. It is knowing what to do when things go “wrong”, when life serves you lemons, you are able to find the inner strength, the peace and love to keep things going.

You are doing what you love, it all connects to your values and needs and you are able to answer to your life’s calling. It doesn’t mean life is perfect but it does mean that you are living your best and highest life, one that enlightens you and ensures spiritual growth – transcending the material world.

Ready to break free from limerence and create the love life you deserve? My personalized coaching is designed to empower you on your journey to lasting happiness and fulfilling relationships. DM me on Instagram to take the first step!

How would it transform you from limerence to knowing yourself to attracting a love you want

I always tell my clients and I talk about it in my workshop too, but being limerent, knowing yourself and being in love all carry different energies.

When you are limerent, your energy/vibe tends to be lower, stagnant, circular. It revolves around the same thoughts, habits, feelings and behaviour, it revolves around a specific person. You are not connected to your life or to you. There’s no flow of energy there.

When you start to better connect with yourself, the different facets of YOU, then you slowly get to know what you want. You KNOW what love and life looks like to you.

All these are the solid foundations to attracting and assessing better dates and relationships. To finding better love. You know who you want in your life, you know how to allow your intuition to guide you to the one.

You will no longer be attracted to one-sided love, unrequited love, fantasy relationships, daydreams, obsessing/stalking your crushes, celebrity fantasies, breadcrumbing, ghosting, projecting, fast-forwarding, future-faking, situationships and all the stuff that is wrong in the world today when it comes to dating and romance.

NONE, absolutely none of that stuff will come into your experience and even if it does, you will just KNOW it and weed it out. You will never pay it any attention, ponder on it and allow it to linger in your life experience.

Are you ready to go deeper within you, cure yourself of any lingering limerent feelings and experience a true love that you’ve never felt before? If you are, get in touch – join my list, drop me a comment on my YouTube channel, send me an email, or a DM on my Instagram.

We are all in this journey together 🙂