Plenty of times in my life, I’ve had things not go the way that I want them to.
Things that I’ve been planning out for a long time and have been dreaming about for a long time – have fallen apart.
The past year with Covid has I’m sure put a spanner in many of your dreams. You’ve got to either put it on hold for the moment or completely abandon some of them.
I was actually in the midst of negotiating for a job move to another country. This was something I had been dreaming and praying for, for the past couple of years. I’ve always wanted to work and live somewhere else. A really good opportunity came up at the end of 2019, but they had to halt the visa sponsorship due to Covid.
It was really a bit of a downer honestly.
Over the years, I’ve also had to give up several things along the way, paths that I had been on for a very long time. I used to want to be an athlete and spent quite a number of years training up and being in various teams, and it all just didn’t pan out.
You probably had a few instances in life like that as well.
It can leave you feeling quite helpless, lost, frustrated. Maybe some feelings around self-worth and self-esteem also came up for you.
Whilst you take the time to acknowledge the feelings that are coming up for you, I’d also like to point out some important concepts around surrendering, timing and what success may mean to us.
Surrendering to your present
If it’s not happening for you, it’s not your path right now.
Someone said this to me a couple of years back when I was moaning about things not going my way in life. At that time I thought it was a very uncompassionate thing to say to someone. I was like who are you to tell me something not happening is not meant to be for me.
There was a lot of internal resistance to that. It took alot of inner work and spiritual healing for me to accept that my higher self and my spirit guides knew what was destined for me. And by resisting it, I was actually blocking a new experience from coming into my life.
Many a time, when I had felt disappointed or let down by something not panning out – on hindsight, it was always for good reason.
For example, when I was not able to head to Europe for my new job, it was a blessing in disguise. Had I been there, I might have been stuck there for months in a completely new job with no family around, locked down at home with little to do.
The toxic job that I took on actually helped me to build an immense amount of self-confidence, helped me build up my throat chakra, and brought out a hidden side of my personality – assertiveness and strength. So I was meant to take that job for a reason.
Being an athlete – this turned out to not be my passion at all! I’m not someone that likes routine, and alot of an athlete’s life is routine-ised to an nth degree.
If I had insisted on my way instead of just surrendering to my higher good or a higher source outside of me, I wouldn’t have learnt the delicious life lessons that I did.
Surrendering is incredibly difficult to do as it deals alot with letting go of control and allowing life to take you on the journey you are meant to be on. It’s scary, it’s full of uncertainty and it triggers all sorts of anxieties within us.
But what is life without all its uncertainties? Imo, that’s the whole point of the human experience on earth.
So how do you begin to surrender?
Jumping to surrendering isn’t easy at all, especially if you have been so used to planning and controlling events your entire life.
Start first with the small things. Start with affirmations.
Anxious waiting for the bus and worried that you won’t get to work on time?
Soothe yourself. Say things like “It will be okay, no matter what happens, everything will be okay. I will be okay”.
Do this repeatedly in situations where you find yourself stressing, and observe the shifts it makes to your life. You will find that life will shift according to your beliefs.
Timing is everything
You are exactly where you need to be
This can also be a tough pill to swallow sometimes.
“What? You mean I’m meant to be at this toxic job and not living it up somewhere else?”
Life can be really funny. No matter how you try to get on a certain path sometimes, it just isn’t gonna happen. At least not right now.
It can be difficult to understand why – but do know that it’s because there is something better in store for you.
The Universe/Our Higher Source/Inner being or whatever you want to call it is all-knowing. It/they know what is best for us, although that may not be very apparent to us, as our human minds are limited.
You may not know this at all, but there could be blessings in every situation that you feel let down in. Didn’t get the job you wanted? 3 months down the road, there was an overhaul of top management and the culture became chaotic.
Dated a guy who ghosted you? Turns out he did not have the same values as you and being with him would have made you rather unhappy.
We may not know exactly why things don’t happen in the moment, and sometimes hindsight gives us some clues. But what our higher self and the Universe wants us to do is to trust in the timing and the process and be well-assured that you are exactly where you need to be, right this very minute.
We are constantly evolving
Many a time when things don’t go the way we want to, we feel absolutely let down. We feel like life is unfair or that other people have it better etc. It can eat into our self worth.
But we forget that life is constantly evolving. We are always changing! We are allowed to change. We may change our minds about the path we thought we should be on.
Frequently, we think that just because something did not happen or has not happen means that it will never ever happen again. Not true.
If the experience is meant to be for our greatest and highest good, it will come around again, possibly in a better, more upgraded form than what you experienced previously.
And you are always allowed to change things or change your speed in life or go in a different direction.
Life is all about choices. Our choices are allowed to evolve just as our lives evolve too.