We’ve talked several times on here about how limerence is a form of romantic obsession – almost like an addiction, where the individual is unable to think about anything else but their partner or the limerent object.
Many times your mind seems to be completely locked on your limerent/romantic object (LO/RO) that you can’t seem to function properly and yet do those thoughts make you feel happy? No, my bet is that they make you feel utterly miserable.
Let me tell you a story.
A few years back, I was dating this guy. He came to my city to visit a couple of times and we started dating. It was long-distance mostly and not very serious. The entire “relationship” was characterised by me feeling incredibly anxious and on some sort of adrenaline rush all the time, as I was constantly in a state of nervousness about whether he’d reply my messages/ask me out etc.
Anyway, one fine day, he told me he was in my city again and that we should meet for dinner. No timing or exact date or whatever, just that he’d get in touch with me. I was at a pretty exciting event that I’d been looking forward to for some time. There was gonna be lots of workshops, good food, networking etc. Pretty fun stuff.
But guess what I was doing the entire time I was there? I was thinking about him!
Where is he? Is he ever gonna text? What is he doing? Does he not want to meet me? He DID say he was in the city right, so why doesn’t he feel any urgency to meet me?
The entire night I was just sat there thinking these thoughts over and over again. And how did I feel throughout the whole thing?
I was miserable. I couldn’t even enjoy myself. Wasn’t paying attention to any of the conversations. Wasn’t present fully to take in the entire experience.
And it came to a point in the night for me where I was like – Ok. This has gotta stop. I need to stop thinking about him and turn the attention to me. So I challenged myself – whenever he crept into my mind, I’d turn the attention from him to me.
Him to Me
That was all it required.
And this is something I’d like you to challenge yourself with. Each time you find yourself thinking of your limerent object or someone you are romantically obsessing over, immediately turn that thought to yourself.
That is how you stop those thoughts dead in their tracks and it prevents you from going down the rabbit’s hole of ruminating obsessive thoughts.
Struggling with limerence and romantic obsession? Unable to let go of a relationship that isn’t working for you? Help is here
I’ll help you unpack all the stories, unconscious beliefs and emotional baggage that you have been carrying around with regards to romance all these years. Sessions are going at $55/session, just click on the image below to book your spot!