If you’ve followed me long enough, you’d know that I am incredibly big on self-awareness and reflection. Because without any of that, most of the techniques, therapy, affirmations and feel-good advice won’t work very well.
But when you’ve got that little bit of introspection and willingness to want to turn within and be honest with yourself about where you are lacking and where you’d love to go, you’d find it easier to let in advice and you’ll find that your journey to healing and transformation is much faster.
And this is why I’d like to talk about monks and nuns today.
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Have you ever wondered how Monks and Nuns actually held their “vices” at bay? The ones that they all had before they found their calling.
Nobody was born a monk or a nun by the way. They had to have fallen into the faith along the way in life.
All of them are just human like you and me, and would probably have faced some sort of temptation in their lifetime – food, spending lavishly, drinks, sex, video games, coffee, chips… the list goes on.
So how do they lose their dependence on these very human temptations?
By engaging in conscious, mindful awareness.
And what has monks engaging in mindful awareness gotta do with limerent individuals?
Limerents dealing with their fantasies and limerent objects (LO) are just like how monks/nuns deal with their temptations.
The link between limerence and awareness
You could probably understand and appreciate how difficult it can be to let go of the drug, that is, fantasizing over your LO.
It’s such an automatic, unconscious process that you are probably not even aware of it happening. So how do we start to take steps to reduce this?
By being conscious, aware and injecting mindfulness through your thought process whenever you have limerent thoughts.
Here are some things you could be aware of when you are limerent for someone:
- How you are feeling when you are thinking of your LO
- What are thoe content of those thoughts
- What are you doing in that moment or have to stop doing in that moment to entertain those thoughts?
- What were you doing before that triggered those thoughts?
- What could you do better in future to prevent you going down this rabbit hole again?
Why is awareness and consciousness so important in limerence?
When you make something conscious in your mind, you are able to take back control and power that you’ve been giving away to those thoughts. And you will find that when you do that overtime, those fantasies occur less frequently to you. And when they do, they are not as “loud” and you can quickly detach from them.
Bringing your thoughts and feelings to the forefront when you are limerent, effectively acts to stop you from spiralling downwards into that automatic train of thought, that habitual pattern you always get into. You want to cut into that momentum and make your unconscious thought pattern conscious.
That is what will quicken your healing process as once you get more conscious about the patterns contributing to your limerence, you are better able to address them.
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