Relationships 101: When old issues are activated

When someone or something activates old issues 

Life keeps serving us up the same lessons in various sizes until we heed them. They might start out as hints and bitesize lessons and the less we listen and learn, the bigger the lesson gets each time.


We have to find our feet and work out our values and live them, not parrot the past and other people’s agendas.


Relationships are like stepping stones. 

What we take away from each one influences where we’re going to step to next.


When you experience activation, ‘old issues’ become present. They might have been unknown but they become exposed. You get ‘triggered’ and the wheels are set in motion for big things to go down.


You might reprise a childhood role.

You might be on a laser-focused mission to right the wrongs of the past because it activates this need to be needed or this need to relive the past and have a go at your own episode of Quantum Leap.

***It can spark this overwhelming urge to ‘love’, ‘give’ and seek validation, likely because this person is seen as being the one to fill you up. They have something you want.

**It can reopen an old wound and can effectively unplug unaddressed grief that wasn’t faced first time round.

**Activation also has a habit of triggering uncharacteristic behaviour that you’ll later come to wonder if you were on drugs or something. You may feel like you’re under a person’s spell, especially if you slot into a child role where they’re given all of the power. (gosh, how true is this!!)


This sense of a ‘powerful connection’ or ‘chemistry’ is often used to explain what is happening but what can become apparent is that the connection, especially when it’s based on an old issue, is actually toxic or that a lot of the connection is about what’s going on within you. They’re almost a prop… or a catalyst.


***Familiarity, especially if it’s linked to something or someone unhealthy, is a code red alert.



If old issues are activated by something in your present, it’s a valuable opportunity to clear out, tidy and refold everything in a way that gives you some breathing space, even if you need some outside help with the unpacking and reorganising. Ultimately if you’re aware of your vulnerabilities, rather than ignoring them, facing them will actually give you strength plus you won’t allow your life to be directed by unhealthy thoughts, feelings and habits.


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