Dealing with breakups

From: Tiny Buddha

“The main practice I recommend is one I do for
heartbreak moments both big and small. I place my hand on my heart, drop the
story line around the underlying emotion, and rest with the feeling of the
emotion itself.

Instead of getting lost in the mental maze of
“Why did she do that?” “How can I get her back?” or “What did I do wrong?” I
acknowledge those thoughts then bring my focus back to the emotion that exists
right beneath their surface
.

As Pema Chodron says at the beginning of this
piece, I let myself go past the anxiety and panic and touch the genuine heart
of sadness that exists underneath. From that place of vulnerability and
authenticity, I find the energy to once more connect with others from a place
of wholeness and love.

Years after that emotional talk with my
friend, when I went through a similar break-up, I knew that the best way to see
myself through to the other side of my broken heart was to take the time to
rest.

I would notice the pain of missing that person
and the sinking feeling that occurred in my body. When that would happen I
would lie down and breathe into it. I wouldn’t entertain the story lines that
came up. Quite the opposite—I would return to the sinking feeling.

And then, as if I had said some magic spell,
the sinking feeling would lift and I could go about my day once more. I could
connect with others, offering my vulnerable and tender self authentically. By
diving into the heart of what I felt, I ended up feeling liberated. Today, I
love again. Tomorrow, I hope to do the same.”

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