In Part 1 I outlined 10 tiny habits you could start picking up in your 20s; that could change the way you lead your life in the next few decades.
Are you currently in your 20s? The 20s can be a confusing time for many of us. It’s always when we have lots of things going on in our lives – college/getting an education work, starting a family, finding a life partner, purchasing your first house and so on. It’s also that time in our lives that we are discovering ourselves in a much deeper way and establishing our identities. 20s is also the time of youth. And like it or not, it’s usually dubbed the “golden era” of our lives and This will be the decade where you are at the prime of your life – the most energetic, the best looking, little responsibilities, and tons of opportunities at your feet.
So how then can we make the most of these 10 years? And not just that, what sorts of habits could we establish in our 20s that will set us on a good path for the rest of our lives? I outline some of my thoughts in these series of posts (more to come in the near future), gathering observations from strangers, friends and most of all, my own life.
1. Seeing success as being determined by external factors. (So if I fail it’s circumstances or someone else’s fault.) This takes away my sense of power and keeps me stuck in failure and helplessness.
2. Personal blind spots. Sometimes we keep failing but we’re blind to the fact that there’s something we’re doing that is causing us to fail. That could be related to our communication style, our attitudes, lack of knowledge and ability, pursuing something that doesn’t suit our gifts and talents, and so on.
3. Self sabotage. Sometimes we don’t feel we deserve to succeed so unconsciously we do something that causes us to fail. This includes meditating on self-limiting thoughts (Eg, “I could never …; I don’t deserve …”).
4. Feeling ambivalent about the goals you’ve set. We often set a goal that is someone else’s goal so we’re not really sure if it’s what we want ourselves. That affects our motivation, and our will to succeed.
5. Fear of change. All successes bring some change – and that can feel quite threatening. And we’re often comfortable with our life as it is now – and so we wonder if success will really make us happier.
6. Pressure from others who don’t want you to succeed. It’s very common for our peers to be threatened by success, and we know they’ll be sarcastic or mean if we succeed. Hence, we don’t try our hardest as we recognise the cost will be social isolation, or rejection by our friends.
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As some of you say goodbye to their college years with a teary eye, as well as joy and pride, we ask you not to fear the future or the unknown. These amazing celebrity commencement speakers who have shared their wisdom and thoughtful words have made the world a little less scary.
Read the heartfelt thoughts by Helen Mirren, J.K. Rowling, Steve Jobs to Amy Poehler and many more inspiring role models, to remind you that you will be OK!
Helen Mirren Reveals Five Rules For a Happy life:
Helen Mirren delivered the keynote address to graduates at Tulane University’s 2017 Commencement:
“I want to share a few rules that I picked up during my life of disasters and triumphs.
I call them Helen’s Top 5 rules for a happy life:
Rule Number One (1):
Don’t need to rush to get married. I married Taylor a lot later in my life and it’s worked out great. And always give your partner the freedom and support to achieve their ambitions.”
Continue Reading [MUST READ]
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What To Do About Anxiety?
- Exercise: Exercising has its physical benefits, but most importantly it helps fight anxiety. It also improves your concentration and overall cognitive functioning. Exercising releases endorphins a chemical in the brain that reduces anxiety.
- Meditation: Meditation helps by silencing the overactive mind for a while by focusing on a single point. For example, your breathing, sensations throughout the body and focusing on a key word. If you don’t know who to meditate you can use meditation apps or watch YouTube videos that can guide you through it.
- Yoga: Yoga helps my moderating our body’s response to anxiety. Not only that, but it lowers blood pressure and chronic pain.
- Kiss Someone You Love: Yep! This does alleviate anxiety, by releasing happy chemicals.
- Sing: It doesn’t matter if you can’t sing, just blast your favorite song, and sing like crazy. I enjoy going for a car ride and singing like no one is watching.
- Talk it out: Talking to a trustful friend, family member, teacher or therapist helps immensely. This also is beneficial because other people can tell you their points of views.
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that’s not what i’m talking about though.
i’m talking about why your best friends, your partner, your family, your dog, your cat, whoever it may be, loves you. they don’t love you for what you look like or what you have on the outside. they love you for who you are, for what you mean to them.
i’m talking about love, not superficial and judgmental thoughts that strangers, acquaintances, and people who don’t know you very well think about you. besides, even strangers can notice small things about you that you don’t notice yourself.
maybe your eyes shine when you talk about something that you love. maybe your hair is soft. maybe the way you inflect a certain word is nice. even small things are worth loving.
a person doesn’t have to be your mother to notice that.
my entire point was: sometimes we’re so preoccupied with the things that we supposedly lack and the things that we supposedly hate about ourselves to notice the real things that are worth loving about ourselves. and usually, it’s other people who notice those things rather than us.
yes, not every single person will like you. but, you must remember that not every single person will hate you. you live every living second of your life with yourself, so you will always have time left for what you have inside. in fact, you could say that you spend every single dream with yourself and the bits and pieces that your mind dredges up from the endless sea you have within you.
at first, one doesn’t. most people have so much love for others but not enough for themselves. that’s when you have to look closer. who is the person that other people see you as? what do other people love about you? is it the way you laugh? is it the way your hands gesture when you talk? is it the way you always keep an eye out for your friends?
whatever it is, it’s almost always better than what you view yourself as (at this point in your journey to love yourself)
most people start small. yes, you may not love yourself but the concept of “me” is such a wide and large thing that it’s difficult to hate all of it. for example, i dislike my face and my body. but, my friends love the way i laugh at my own terrible puns. my mom loves the way i keep the door open for other people. my sister loves the way i use “;;” in my texts.
and that’s what i start to love as well. it’s the tiny things about me that i appreciate about myself. yes, i may not like my cheeks and yes, i may not like my eyes, and yes, i may not like my body, but i love the way that i love terrible puns. i love it when i open the door for other people. i love the way i use ;; in texts. all of those are still parts of me, parts to love.
i’m still far away from loving myself and it’s hard, anon, it’s so hard sometimes. but i’m hoping that the little things will add up over time. i care more about myself more than i used to, and all the physical scars have healed. things add up, and i hope that my small pile of love for myself will continue to grow as they have done so far.
and if you still can’t find anything to love about yourself, remember the fact that you cared enough about loving yourself to ask someone else advice for it. you still care about yourself deep down there. you deserve to be loved by yourself, anon. good luck.
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HOW TO START A BLOG IN 5 SIMPLE STEPS
Before we get into the details, you should know the most important thing about starting a blog: write because you have a passion for something. If you are starting a blog with the intention of getting rich and famous, you’re probably better off trying something else.
But if you have something to share with the world, whether it’s tips, photos, writing, your interests, or hobbies, I say go for it. I mean, really, what are you waiting for? Here are five simple steps to make it happen!
1. Choose a domain name
Coming up with a domain name can be one of the hardest tasks. After all, it’s going to be the identity of your blog. I’m talking about a .com that is all yours. You could go the simple route and use your name, but if you want a little creativity/anonymity, it might take a little bit of thinking over.
It took me a long time to come up with The Blissful Mind, but it ultimately came from my belief that having a healthy mind is the key to overall health. Once you’ve figured out the name, buy a domain name from somewhere like namecheap.com (prices start at just $0.88 per year which is stupidly cheap).
2. Get a host
A host is basically the place where all of your blog’s files are located. I use SiteGround as my hosting provider, and I have been so impressed with the level of customer support they offer. The SiteGround team are quick to respond to any issues (which I’ve rarely encountered), and they are extremely knowledgeable about hosting.
SiteGround’s hosting starts at $3.95 per month which is perfect for anyone just getting started with blogging.
To start the process, head to this page and click ‘Get Started’ for the plan you want (StartUp is best for your first plan. You can always upgrade later).
Once you’re on the next page, enter in the name of the domain you just purchased from NameCheap and then choose which payment plan you want to go with (trial month, 12 months, 2 years, or 3 years).
Sidenote: To be completely transparent, I started off using BlueHost but found that they weren’t as helpful or responsive with questions that I had about my site, so I switched to SiteGround and never looked back.
3. Install WordPress
There are quite a few platforms out there like WordPress, Blogger, and Squarespace, but I’ve used WordPress since day one. Since I’m only familiar with WordPress, that’s what I’d recommend you use as the place where you write your blog posts. SiteGround offers a free and easy WordPress installation which makes it a million times easier than doing it manually. Once you’ve set up your account with SiteGround, they will prompt you through the WordPress installation process.
4. Find a theme
When it comes to your blog’s appearance, you want it to be user-friendly and aesthetically pleasing. Over the years, I’ve used themes from Angie Makes and Station Seven (both found through Creative Market), and I’m currently using a theme I found Themeforest. If you don’t want to spend money on a theme, there are tons of free ones out there if you just do a quick search on Google for free WordPress themes.
SiteGround has some free templates that they can install for you, and it’s easy to change your theme once you’re all set up. Most places that you buy or find themes from will tell you exactly how to install them in WordPress, so you don’t have to worry about messing it up.
5. Start writing
When you’re just getting ready to start a blog, you’ll read a lot of articles that tell you how important it is to have a niche for your blog. Here’s my advice to you: don’t worry about your niche until you’ve written at least 10 blog posts. My blog started out as a mashup of random topics like an apartment tour, pancake recipes, and beauty products I liked. I had no idea what I was really talking about, but I kept writing because I enjoyed it.
It wasn’t until at least a year into blogging that I started realizing what I really wanted to write about and what resonated with other people. Let yourself write about what you want in the beginning and don’t try to put yourself into a box. These things take time.
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1. Stock up on basics; button ups, skirts, nice pants (anything from white/black jeans to business pants), and basic flats/heels. I don’t recommend spending an insane amount of money on these items because there are so many stores from Target to J.Crew that have these items for reasonable prices! I get all of my button ups and skirts that are about knee length at J.Crew because they always have great items on their sale rack and they take a student discount!
2. Splurge on items that will last you forever; blazer/blazer and skirt set, dress pants/blazer and pants set, etc. These items will last a very long time in your closet and go with so many different basics! I’m not saying go out an spend $5,000 on a Chanel tweed jacket with matching skirt; stores that specialize in business attire will work just fine! My favorites are J.Crew, Banana Republic, and Ann Taylor.
3. For shoes, I recommend a nude pair of flats, a black pair of flats, a nude pair of heels, and a black pair of heels. Then from there you can add more fun pieces. You can find these styles of shoes basically anywhere! My favorite brand of affordable classic heels are Madden Girl, my favorite brand of flats are Tory Burch, and my favorite brand of high end heels are Valentino, Prada, and Louboutin!
Just build your wardrobe little by little starting with basics that you can wear on an everyday basis, but that you can also dress up for a business casual or professional look. I highly recommend J.Crew, if that is your style and in your price range! You can find everything from button ups, skirts, blazers, dress pants and more there. There are always great sales and I always find great items on the sale racks! Tip: J.Crew pixie pants are amazing because they are leggings, but look like nice black pants on. Those pants are an example of something you could buy that you could wear on a daily basis as leggings, but also dress up for a professional look!
After you have all the basics, you can start to splurge on more expensive items that will last forever! For example, if you have your eyes on a pair of Louboutins, a pair of Madden Girl black leather heels will work just fine for now, then save up for the more expensive shoes and replace your basic ones later on! This works with all basic items!
When in doubt, search on Pinterest for Business Casual and Business Professional outfits! I have a whole board on my Pinterest dedicated to Post-College fashion, and there are so many fashionable examples!
Hope this helped:)
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